Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. Just trust what you feel.

 - (via psych-facts)
14,221 notes   •   September 01 2014, 12:25 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#words   #important   

I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

 -

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

32,100 notes   •   August 31 2014, 10:30 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#important   #read   

princessblogonoke:

Anxiety & Helping Someone Cope. 
I didn’t want to make it overwhelming or too long remember, so I kept it to the main points that benefit me greatly when I’m experiencing an attack.
40 million of Americans alone suffer with anxiety; it’s a horrid feeling when you know someone just wants to help you but you cannot even construct a simple sentence at the time, so please share this in hope that it benefits even just 1 person. Muchos love. 

80,542 notes   •   August 31 2014, 05:47 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE

1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.

2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.

3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.

4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.

5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.

6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?

7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.

8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.

9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.

10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.

 - Boy advice from someone who made the same mistakes too often (via guiseofgentlewords)
98,579 notes   •   August 30 2014, 01:42 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#words   #important   

bisexualpiratequeen:

I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles.

1- I am glorious above all things
2- Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored
3- Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine
4- Show displeasure clearly.
5- NO
6- Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time.
7- If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.

81,281 notes   •   August 25 2014, 01:09 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE

You don’t have to have a boyfriend to be happy, to be pretty, or belong.

 - Louise Brealey, The Source magazine (via burningtheheartoutofyou)
1,144 notes   •   August 20 2014, 08:04 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE
#words   #important   

king-in-yellow:

hopephd:

Seizure First Aid. 

Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it. 

100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)

248,834 notes   •   August 12 2014, 06:07 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE

cynthia-weil:

hey guys, i know a lot of people have shared the suicide prevention lifeline number which is really great, but i wanted to remind everyone of this website that does the same, except it’s online. i’m sure there are people who might be more comfortable asking for help this way.

27,933 notes   •   August 11 2014, 10:27 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE
Suicides go up every time a celebrity commits. If you’re thinking of committing, or even self harming yourself, please give these sites a look and numbers a call. We’ll feel for you, how we feel for them.
50,575 notes   •   August 11 2014, 10:26 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE

You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward.

471 notes   •   August 08 2014, 04:30 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE

expeditionhappiness:

Just a reminder that while positivity is a great tool it is not healthy to:

  • repress negative thoughts/feelings 
  • feel guilty for having negative thoughts/feelings
  • feel that you can’t express negative thoughts/feelings 

Negative emotions are a part of life, and a truly balanced cognitive strategy will accept this (while working to change the balance of good to bad and teaching you coping strategies/self care/distraction etc)

26,977 notes   •   August 05 2014, 10:37 AM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE
crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

364,415 notes   •   July 31 2014, 04:05 PM   •   VIA   •   SOURCE